"What's Your Cat's Name -- Herpes?"

TOP 5 REASONS I'M GRATEFUL MY CAT LEFT US

(After 13 years, he decided that he couldn't tolerate us anymore and decided to live with the neighbors who eventually renamed him and took him out of state with them)

1. No more feline farts (he especially liked to pass gas on Julene and our friends referred to him as "The Windy Kitty").
2. No more vet bills (he would get in fights and get huge gashes across his tummy that required stitches. Once he threw up in his "cone" and then shook his head so that cat barf went flying all over the place! Also, the vet told us to wrap up his wounds with gauze pads and bandages. Have you ever tried to get an ace bandage around a cat? We finally went with maxi pads and held them in place by sticking the poor cat in our baby's onesie).
3. No more Jeffrey scurrying up the furniture and screaming whenever the cat walked by (for some reason the boy loves snails and bugs, but is petrified of anything with fur).
4. No more rescuing him in the middle of the night because his paws are frozen to the metal roof.
   
5. No more peeing on my pillow -- WHILE I'M STILL SLEEPING ON IT!