W.O.W. Diet

Along with my other spring resolutions (like keeping my house clean and actually brushing my hair and wearing make-up so I don't scare my co-workers), we're starting a new diet.

Well, I'm starting a new diet and I'm dragging Nigel (kicking and screaming) along for the ride.

In the spirit of the man who wrote a book about following all the laws in the Old Testament, I'm going to try to follow all the laws in the Word of Wisdom.

So, no alcohol (no big deal), no tobacco (not a problem), no hot drinks (don't drink them).

Now for the tough ones.

Fruits, vegetables, herbs in their season -- OK, I'll admit it. I don't know when things are in season! I'm so botanically challenged that I have no idea. Does it count if they're in season in Ecuador and it's imported? What about if they WERE in season when they were frozen or canned? Is there a Web site that'll tell me when things are in season in my area?

No meat except for in times of winter and famine -- I've heard some people say, "It's always winter in my freezer" or "I'm famished now." Of course, meat is very expensive, so my cheapness says to follow this one to the letter. Now it says "beasts of the field" and "fowls of the air," so I'm figuring that fish are still OK to eat.

Grains -- I'm trying to switch over to whole grains (last night I sneaked in some whole grain pasta and Nigel didn't even notice -- he normally hates it).

Today I'm giving blood, so let's see if I'll really "walk and not faint."

Thursday Thopping

So I've decided that the best way to save money grocery shopping is to go to my local el cheapo supermarket and stick to my shopping list and buy store brand items.

But if I see an ad where a store is having a mondo sale (which is usually every other month), then I go to the manufacturer's Web sites of those sale items and print off coupons for those same items (since the stores that take Internet coupons usually are the ones that have the big sales).

For example:

Normal cost of various items: $32.80
Cost of items after store sale: $20.00
Save $5 for buying 10 items: $15.00
Cost after Internet coupons: $10.00

So from $32.80 to $10.00, not too bad -- and getting the coupons AFTER I know what's on sale is a lot easier than clipping a bunch of coupons and then hoping that those same items go on sale before the coupons expire.

Coupon Update

Back in January I blogged about my quest to find coupons. I decided to look through my cupboards and find products that I really liked and send them e-mails asking for free coupons. Here's my results:

My favorite cereal company and my favorite dishwasher detergent manufacturer both told me to find coupons in my local newspaper (I don't get a paper) or to print them off from their Web site (I wrote that my grocery store doesn't accept Internet coupons). One of the companies even suggested that I shop at a different store! I must admit that I was very shocked by their response. Here I am, a loyal customer telling them how much I love their products and that I want to buy MORE, and they won't send me coupons. How rude!

A frozen fish company sent me a coupon for $1.00 off my next purchase.

My kids' favorite yogurt maker sent me a coupon for FREE yogurt. Score!

A toothpaste company sent me a free sample of their toothpaste along with the coupons. Mega score!

A major soup company sent me $4.00 worth of coupons and these coupons were good for any of their products, with no stipulations (they even included a booklet of recipes).

Today I got a letter from a major food company that included 7 coupons for their various products.

Despite the fabulous coupons that I received, I had to stop e-mailing these companies because I'm not too sure about their privacy policies (maybe it's just a coincidence that right after I gave all these Web sites my e-mail address, I became flooded with letters from princes in Africa that need my help transferring their funds to a bank account in America).

I will still continue my search for coupons!

Thursday Thopping

No good sales to talk about today (drat!).

Do you ever go grocery shopping and notice that can of olives in with the diapers or the loaf of bread mixed in with the shampoo? It's me.

I'm notorious for filling my cart full of stuff, then getting buyer's remorse and randomly putting items back on shelves (in the wrong spots) before I get in the check-out lane.

Not too nice of me, but I'm giving a whole fleet of clerks job security.

I could have worse habits. I once saw a lady systematically pick up a jar of pickles, LICK IT, put it back, pick up the next jar of pickles, LICK IT, put it back, etc. What the???

Deal or No Deal?

Now that I'm paying more attention to grocery store prices, I'm becoming much more savvy on what's a good deal and what's not.

For example, a local store is advertising a sale where you buy 10 Kraft products and you get $5.00 off your total grocery bill. I had coupons for most of the participating items, so this sounded like a total score.

If I went with this sale, I would spend about $31.00 on the 10 items, get $5.00 off, and then save about $5.00 with my coupons for a total of $21.00.

Then I looked closer at the prices for the Kraft products and they were almost DOUBLE the cost of the exact same items at my regular el cheapo supermarket.

If I went to the inexpensive market, I would spend about $20.00 on the 10 items, save $5.00 with my coupons for a total $15.00.

I guess it pays to do your research and not assume it's a sale just because they say it's a sale.

O Coupon, Where Art Thou?

My search for good coupons continues:

The ones I get free in the mail are usually for products I don't buy.

I did a free two week subscription to the local paper, but my two weeks are up and I wasn't impressed enough with the coupons or the paper to actually pay for it.

My computer is so slow (and ink and paper are so expensive) that I dread printing off Internet coupons (besides, my favorite and least expensive grocery store won't accept them).

For a few weeks I bought the "bundle deal" at 7-11 (two different Sunday newspapers for only $2.00, so double the coupons), but the coupons are still not worth breaking the Sabbath for.

I'm trying to avoid paying for coupons with a clipping business and I hate all the coupons for stuff I normally wouldn't buy, so I'm trying something new.

I'm going to put my money (or lack thereof) where my mouth is. Remember how I wrote about contacting a company whose product I liked and they sent me free coupons? My new plan is to go through my pantry/fridge/cleaning supplies and e-mail all the companies that I like and hopefully get some free coupons from them. I'll keep you posted on how it goes!

Let's Make a Deal

My brother, Stillwell, taught me that when a store messes up your order, to not get angry and to instead use it to your advantage to get a good deal. After all, most businesses get their loyal customers from goofing up and then going out of their way to right the mistake.

For instance, we were once at Chuck E. Cheese (isn't that big rat one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse?) and they gave us a supreme pizza instead of the all-meat pizza I ordered. I knew that they didn't want to throw away a perfectly good pizza and make another one (and my picky kids can just pull off the dreaded vegetables), so I nicely asked the manager what he could do for me to make up for their mistake. He brought us over 100 free tokens. I would've been satisfied with free drinks, but hey, we'll take the tokens! It didn't cost him anything, he didn't have to make another pizza and my kids had a ball. Win-win!

Conversely, if a company has a product that you really like, let them know. I had an old-fashioned claw tub that I could never get clean. It got to the point where I thought I had scrubbed through the porcelain into the metal. Then I tried a certain cleanser and it worked! I was so excited that I wrote to the company. They sent me a letter back with coupons for that product. Of course, I would've been happier if they had used my letter in an ad campaign and paid me millions of dollars.

Oh well, I'm happy with coupons (or tokens).

Thursday Thopping

Here's some coupon trivia I learned today:

I was at the supermarket taking advantage of their "buy 5 packages of pasta, get a dozen eggs free" and "buy three bottles of dish soap and get a pound of butter free" offer and the coupon said that the free items could be worth up to $3.00 each.

I grabbed butter and eggs costing only about $2.00 each, expecting to be reimbursed for the exact cost of the items. Well, it turns out that I was reimbursed for the full $3.00!

Of course, I combined coupons with the items I had to buy to get the free stuff, so it was a massive grocery score all the way around. YES!

That little Scottish restaurant...

So the other day we ate at McDonald's (thanks to our Secret Santa gift card) and we took a good look at the neon characters outside the children's play area.

Is it just me, or is Grimace flipping everyone the bird?

The Emperor's New Clothes

So for the past few weeks I've been doing a little experiment at work. Here's how it's going so far:

LOIS: Hey, did you notice that I've been wearing the exact same clothes every day this week?

COWORKER: Huh?

L: Yeah. Black T-shirt, black sweater, jeans, and boots. Same outfit every day. I do change my underwear and socks, though.

C: Didn't notice.

L: Did you notice that I wore the same clothes all last week, too?

C: No. Hey, what was I wearing yesterday?

L: I have no idea. Maybe if I wore a tie-dye muu-muu every day people would notice.

C: I doubt it.

Try it. What was your boss wearing yesterday? Didn't notice? You're not alone. Why are we so worried about our appearance when no one even notices? Of course, maybe it's experiments like these that make people leave bags of clothes at my door.

Thursday Thopping

Here's the killer deal I got today:

Scott 4-pack toilet tissue
Regular price: $1.99
Store sale price: $1.00
Coupon: $1.00 off

My final cost: FREE!!! THAT'S RIGHT, FREE, BABY!!!

The best part about my shopping today was having the luxury of NOT buying anything. Since I have a full pantry, freezer and fridge at home, I can be more selective when it comes to finding bargains. "Yeah, that chicken is on sale and I have a coupon, but I think that I'll wait until I can find it for even cheaper." And if I don't find it cheaper or if the coupon expires, then I've saved even MORE money by not buying it at all. Win--win!

In the "Doesn't That Defeat the Purpose" Department...

While perusing my grocery store circular, I came across this ad:

"Buy any combination of 12 Stouffer's Lean Cuisine Entrees and receive two 1.75 Quart Dreyer's Ice Cream"

WHAT??? Buy DIET frozen food and get free ICE CREAM??? What kind of diet is that?

Thursday Thopping

I am getting this new system down. I clip my coupons from my FREE newspaper (trial subscription) and compile them in my notebook. Yes, I have a COUPON NOTEBOOK. Don't mess with me, I'm saving money.

Let me just brag a little bit about my grocery shopping today --
Total: $108.53
Store Savings: $46.83
Coupons Tendered: $12.70
My final cost: $49.00

That's right! I saved over HALF my bill! Even the cashier was impressed.

You should see my pantry and freezer. Even my laundry closet is stocked. Of course, I still need more experience on what's a good price and what's not, but I have been able to keep to my goal of not paying more than $1.00 a pound for meat (and I'm not talking about the "meat" Nigel brings home from the scary butcher shop in the neighborhood with all the missing cats).

I'm amazed at how much I'm able to buy just by doing some research and paying attention to the prices and deals, but am I really SAVING? After all, I'm still BUYING. I'm just buying more. Hmmm.

Kill Bill

I'm a notorious bill fighter. If you dare to send me an invoice, be prepared to get a phone call from me contesting every charge.

I find that my "stupid woman" persona works best for getting charges reduced without getting up the ire of the billing specialist.

Here's how a recent conversation went with my kids' dentist receptionist:

"Dr. Painful's office, how can I help you?"

"I'm confused. I don't understand my dental bill."

"What seems to be the problem, ma'am?"

"Well, I'm no expert, but I don't see why Frances got charged $40 for the cleaning while Jeffrey and Alice-Grace got charged $43 for the same thing."

"Oh, gee, my, I'm not sure either."

"Oh, I'm sure it's not your fault. Probably just a slip of the fingers on the keyboard."

"Let me check on that for you."

Sure enough, I got a new bill in the mail, for $6 cheaper and a note of apology.

I've done this with my bank (they used to take one or two pennies more from my account than my checks were written for, but NOT anymore), my doctors (I get billed twice for procedures all the time), and even the IRS (yes, I beat down the tax man).

The best part is that they feel super smart and competent by helping out the "stupid woman" and I get my bill reduced. Win-win!

Thursday Thopping

(apologies to "Thursday Thong")

Today is my grocery shopping day. I'm trying something new in my quest to be a more savvy consumer. According to www.couponmom.com, the way to save money is to combine supermarket store sales with coupons. Of course, this works really well if your store doubles manufacturers' coupons (which only one store in my area does, and they only do it on random days -- which no one at the store could tell me when that is). My goal is to be able to buy groceries as cheaply as possible to try to build up my food supply. Here's my good deal for this week:

General Mills cereals, normal price $3.43 per box
Store special, 8 for $10.00, so only $1.25 per box
Combined with coupons, only 70 cents per box

SCORE!!!

If I just save a little more...

Nigel's dad, Jedward, grew up in an orphanage run by a chocolate company. Ironically, the children were not allowed to eat very much candy (though he was trained to be a confectioner).

Jedward came into a small amount of money and he was very excited about buying candy for just himself. Then it dawned on him that if he just saved a little bit more money, he would have enough for a small portable transistor radio.

When he saved enough for the radio, he realized that if he just saved a little bit more, he would have enough to buy a record player.

When he saved enough for the record player, he realized that if he just saved a little bit more, he would have enough to buy a hi-fi system.

When he saved enough for the hi-fi, he realized that if he saved a bit more, he would have enough money to buy a nice bike.

When he saved enough for the bike, he realized that if he saved still more, he would have enough to buy a car.

This continued and continued. Let's just say that at the end of all his saving, he bought his first house with CASH.

See what you can do with a little candy money?

The Parable of the Diet

"Shed" -- painted by Nigel

I went from a skinny child to a chubby middle schooler to a fat high schooler to an obese* college student. How could this be? I was eating and exercising the same as my much thinner friends. What was going on?

Then I decided to do an experiment. I was going to study my skinny friends and REALLY see if they were doing anything differently. OK. Thin people do NOT eat at all! We may dish up the same portions, but while I'm eating everything on my plate and licking it clean, they're throwing all of their food away. Even though we may be walking up the same flight of stairs, they're hopping and bounding while I'm crawling.

I decided to act like a thin person. I ate only half of what I wanted and wasted all kinds of energy bouncing around. In about six months I lost 45 pounds and by continuing to pay strict attention to what I do and what I eat, I've been able to keep it off through 17 years of marriage and three children.

Financially, I'm going to do the same experiment. I'm convinced that I'm as frugal as the next person, yet I can't seem to save any money. Am I scrimping as much as I think? Or am I blissfully unaware of my spending and consuming habits?

So 2008 is going to be my year of spending consciously. Just like in my diet where I stop and ask myself "Am I really hungry or am I just bored?" before I eat something, I'm going to stop and ask myself "Do I really need this or am I just bored?" before I buy something.

Let's see if I can find success in this area of my life just by being aware of what I'm doing.

*Please note that Nigel met and fell in love with me when I was at my heaviest. So another reason why he's the coolest guy on the planet.

A Rose By Any Other Name...

Another big box "full slip" experience today. I went from store to store trying to find a charger that does AA, AAA, C, D and 9-volt batteries. The stores would have some of the batteries, but not the charger; or they would have the charger, but not the rechargeable batteries. I was about to give up when a salesperson suggested, "Have you tried the battery store?" What? There's a battery store? We went there and the staff was friendly, knowledgeable, and they had exactly what I wanted. They now have a loyal customer for life.

Also went to Toys "R" Us, which my mother always referred to as Toys "R" Ours. She could never get the name straight.

My friend's grandma always called ShopKo, Shop-OK.

I love people who put a "the" in front of words. Such as The Food 4 Less or The Macey's.

My kids refer to Carl's Jr. as Star Burger.

When Frances was little, she always wanted to go to Donald King -- yeah, I can't tell them apart, either (though now my kids know that McDonald's has better toys).

Dot also calls the I-Max theater The Maxi. As in, "Are you going to see the Maxi?" Very humorous when we're in mixed company.

Nigel's father used to refer to Dunkin' Donuts as Drunken Donuts.

I think the funniest was my elderly neighbors who were big "Wheel of Fortune" fans. Every night the wife would yell to her husband, "Edward, Edward! 'Oh Vanna' is on!"

A Homemade Holiday

I was babysitting some children and Frances was talking about what she was going to buy people for Christmas. One of the girls I was tending looked at Frances incredulously and said, "You BUY presents? We always make ours."

Now this is a girl who was raised right.

Since I'm the baby of the family, I was always the one making the crazy home-made gifts that I know everyone hated, but they all kept them just the same.

I remember one year my mother got rid of all our decks of face cards (there must've been something in General Conference about the evil of cards or something). Now, I come from a family that LOVES to play cards. What will we do without cards?

I decided to make my own, but with animals on them so that they wouldn't be "evil." Well, I'm not exactly known for my spelling skills and at the time I didn't quite understand why my brother, Clark, loved playing "Go Fish" with my homemade deck of cards. I can still hear him giggle as he would ask:

"Do you have any Loins?"

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

When Nigel and I were first married, we always had a real Christmas tree (or one that I made out of construction paper if it was an especially bad year). One year we were buying our Christmas tree at one of those home improvement places. As always, Nigel got distracted by something shiny and left me alone in the store to pick out the tree, buy it, and drag it 6,000 miles through the parking lot to the car (OK, so maybe it wasn't 6,000 miles, but I was NINE MONTHS PREGNANT with Jeffrey at the time, so it felt like it).

Anyway, after that fun little experience, I decided to buy an artificial tree. I picked out a good one that was on sale and then couldn't fit the box in my little Toyota. I had to call my nephew, Fred, and have him pick it up in his truck (I swear, I get more pathetic every year).

We had that tree for many years. Like most pack-rat Americans, our living room got more and more furniture and less and less room for a Christmas tree. My niece and her husband, Babs and Spike, offered us a skinnier artificial tree that would take up much less space. We gladly accepted and put the new tree up.

What to do with our old tree? Nigel put it up on FreeCycle and I was afraid that it was much too late in the Christmas season for anyone to want a tree. Boy was I wrong. We had at least 25 people who wanted that tree. Nigel quickly dismissed the ones who wanted it because they didn't want needles on their "brand new carpeting" or bought a bigger house with "higher ceilings" and wanted a bigger tree. Being Nigel, he picked a family who wanted to give Christmas to a woman whose husband died three years ago, leaving her with two children to raise on her own and she just lost her job. They picked it up and I must admit it filled us all with the Christmas spirit. Way to go, Nigel.

Oh, by the way, I'm having the kids decorate the house for Christmas this year. Our new skinny Christmas tree is only decorated 2/3 of the way up (as high as my kids can reach), but I'm keeping it that way.