I've Been Tagged -- Again

ABC Blag

A- Attached or Single? Attached (but my earlobes are not).
B- Best Friend? guy: Nigel -- girl: I must admit that I haven't had a "call on the phone and talk for hours and go out to lunch every week" girlfriend since I've been married (though my sister, Lorna, is often dragged into those situations). I have lots of friends, but Nigel is my best buddy.
C- Cake or pie? Oh my goodness, it HAS to be pie. For my birthday? Pie. For Thanksgiving? Pie. For Christmas? Pie. I used to love Key Lime, but my body has revolted against all citrus. Chocolate cream or coconut cream is always good. Not into the fruit pies.
D- Day of choice? Tuesday (that's the only day I get off of work).
E- Essential Item? My budget paper that I keep in my wallet (I keep track of every penny -- I don't spend my money wisely, but I know where every cent goes).
F- Favorite Color? Pink
G- Gummy Bears or Worms? I hate all things gummy (or goomy as Gnat likes to say).
H- Hometown? Clover City, CA
I- Favorite Indulgence? Cadbury Cream Eggs or Pepperidge Farms Mint Brussels cookies.
J- January or July? July (I look forward to the Freedom Festival and Pioneer Day every year).
K- Kids? 3: Frances, Jeffrey, and Alice-Grace
L - Life isn't complete without? Old MGM musicals.
M- Marriage date? Dang coldest and windiest day to be outside taking photos while surrounded by turkey farms.
N- Number of brothers and sisters? 5 brothers: Clark, Spence, J.D., Henry and Stillwell; 3 sisters: Lorna, Myrna and Rena
O- Oranges or Apples? Peaches (always peaches).
P- Phobia and fears? Falling in the shower and knocking out all my teeth (Denturaphobia).
Q- Quote? "Mr. Green is Left-Handed" (graffiti at my high school).
R- Reason to smile? Seeing people trip (yes, I know that's horrible, but I can't help myself).
S- Season of choice? Fall (also known as pie baking weather).
T- Tag three people? Can I tranquilize and tag some wild animals instead?
U- Unknown fact about me? I went to junior high with the actor/musician Jack Black.
V- Vegetable? Green beans (the squeaky ones).
W- Worst habit? Biting my nails.
X-Ray or Ultrasound? I don't want to drink a bunch of water, so I'm saying X-ray.
Y- Your favorite food? Ginger's elk enchiladas (I can eat them every day of my life).
Z- Zodiac sign? "Keep Off The Grass"

"Rock Lobster" Rocks

I love the B-52s. The bouffants, the crazy clothes, the silly lyrics, the danceable beats, all of it. It started when I was a young girl hearing the fabulous guitar riff from "Rock Lobster" wafting from my brother, J.D.'s, bedroom.

In fact, I love all happy, fun music. Sure, occasionally I'm in the mood for some super depressing song like "Girlfriend in a Coma," but that doesn't last long. Just play some B-52s and I'm bopping around the house, happy as a clam.

Nothing can get you down as long as you have a B-52s song in your heart (that should be a Hallmark card, shouldn't it?).

A Christmas Movie: Take Two

When I look back on the old Christmas movies that my family did every year, I notice a pattern.

Besides filming us hanging up our stockings, my dad also filmed us on Christmas day getting our filled stockings and opening our presents. When we were really little, you could see my brother, J.D., secretly stealing candy from the other kids' stockings. As the years went by and we all got older, one thing would not change. EVERY film showed J.D. stealing candy from people's stockings! He'd be in his 30s and still stealing candy!

I shouldn't be surprised. This was the same brother who would steal food off my plate during the prayer at dinner and he would hold a fork to my side to keep me quiet while he did it.

But no one could ever hate him. No matter how mean he was to us (including cutting off Rena's hair with a pair of toenail clippers), we still loved and adored him.

Though I should warn his wife and son to hide their candy this Christmas.

I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille

Back in the early 50s, my father worked in TV. Even though he soon left that job to work as an electrical engineer, he still had some of that movie magic running through his veins.

It started with a Super-8 camera taking simple films of his growing family hanging up their stockings every Christmas eve. As the years went by, we couldn't just hang up our stockings, we had to have ever more elaborate skits that went with the hanging of the stockings. Regular lamps weren't good enough, my dad had these super bright spot lights that would blind us all as he would yell, "Open up your eyes!"

Lorna's husband, Jorge, proclaimed ours "The Cecil B. DeMille Christmases." Just like real film making, we had to wait forever for the lighting to be just right, we'd finally get our skit perfect and my dad would realize that he had the lens cap still on (or no film in the camera), and it would always go over time and over budget. I would half expect to see a couple of grips eating at the Crafts Services table in our living room with the way these productions would play out.

Then in the early '80s, we were introduced to video tape. SOUND. Just like the old silent movie era actors, we were kind of hesitant and some of our skits were still done with no sound. After a year or so, we used this new medium to showcase J.D.'s band or Rena's vocal lessons. Soon, all the neighborhood kids were also involved in our movies.

My favorite Christmas film was when the entire family was struck down with the stomach flu, but we still went on with the show -- with all the kids carrying pots around for barfing in.

Another good one was when Ardale went on and on about how proud he was of Spence and how much we miss him while he's on his mission. Then we hear Spence in the background say, "Don't you mean Henry?" Oh, you should've seen my dad's face on that one.

Just like in real life, we try our best to plan things out and control everything. And just like in real life, our favorite memories consist of the times when everything goes wrong.

"No, But My Cat Can"

This is a favorite family story. I wasn't there when this happened, so hopefully I have all the details correct:

Late one night, my parents, Dot and Ardale, were sound asleep. A loud KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK came to the door. Dot and Ardale cautiously opened the door to find police officers on the porch asking if they were OK. My parents said that they were all right and asked the police what this was about. The police replied that they had received a 911 call from this address and were here to check it out. Neither Dot nor Ardale had called.

"Is there anyone else in the house?" asked the police officer.

"Just our son, J.D." answered Ardale.

The police and my parents went up to J.D.'s room. Sure enough, they could see that the long extension cord that connects to the upstairs phone was in his bedroom, but the door was closed. Dot and Ardale were starting to panic, wondering what kind of danger their son was in. The police motioned that they had to enter the room first.

The police kicked open the door and swarmed into J.D.'s bedroom. Of course, J.D. wakes up freaked out of his mind to see himself surrounded by police. They soon realized they he was OK and hadn't called 911.

Ardale finally asked, "Are you sure you have the right house? What phone number did the call come from?"

The police told him the number and they realized that this was the other phone line located in Ardale's office in a small building in the backyard. Now my parents' minds were really racing. Did someone break into the office and get hurt? What's going on?

The police went through the backyard to the small back house. They gingerly opened the door and there they saw our cat -- sitting on the speed dial button for 911 with the receiver knocked off the hook.

Many months later, a salesman telephoned to try to get Dot to purchase a security system for the house. She replied that she wasn't interested because she has dogs to protect her home. The salesman said, "But can your dogs call 911 in case of an emergency?" Dot answered, "No, but my cat can." And promptly hung up on the salesman.