Here she comes...

The other night on TV they had an interview with Miss Utah and it got me thinking about beauty pageants. As you may have figured out, I am not very girly, but there are some girly things that I do enjoy.

I like wearing perfume (though I can't wear it now because my work forbids it), my favorite color is pink and I absolutely love watching the Miss America pageant.

I know, here I hate wearing make-up and I never even brush my hair and I like beauty pageants? Hey, I'm not talking about that slutty Miss USA contest, this is Miss America. It's a SCHOLARSHIP pageant, people!

Maybe it stems from my youth when I used to watch the pageant with my mother, Dot, who would sit there earnestly taking notes and keeping score (I don't know why she bothered, it seemed like Miss Texas always won).

Or maybe it's because when I was young my sister, Myrna, took me to the Miss Clover City Pageant to see her friend compete. It was there that I had my first Shirley Temple and realized that when you're competing on the city level, it's best to have a sponsor with a short name (Myrna's friend didn't win, but she should've gotten a special award for having the longest sash -- since she was Miss Ed Little's Auto Service).

This year the Miss America pageant was awesome because a few days before the pageant they were on a reality show where they had to do various challenges and get makeovers ("Survivor" meets "What Not To Wear").

It was there that we got to see the leadership abilities of Miss Utah, everyone's favorite soldier. Of course, she was so un-girly that it was even driving me crazy. Those are high heels on your feet, Miss Utah, not bear traps! My five-year-old can walk in a pair of stilettos better than you!

It was also where I got to see Miss Florida freak out because she lost a contest and had to jump in a pool and she was petrified of her make-up coming off. This induced massive eye-rolling on my part. Then later on in the show you found out that Miss Florida had been in an explosion as a child and her face had blown off and she had to wear heavy make-up to cover the scars. All of a sudden she went from prissy scaredy-cat to courageous champion.

My favorite was Miss Alaska. She was brash, loud, always said the wrong thing, alienated others, ethnically insensitive, and probably a little bit mentally ill. In my mind, she was the one that perfectly personified the United States of America.

The actual pageant was kind of boring and I don't even remember who won. I just know that it wasn't Miss Utah, Miss Florida or Miss Alaska.

I've Been Tagged -- Again

ABC Blag

A- Attached or Single? Attached (but my earlobes are not).
B- Best Friend? guy: Nigel -- girl: I must admit that I haven't had a "call on the phone and talk for hours and go out to lunch every week" girlfriend since I've been married (though my sister, Lorna, is often dragged into those situations). I have lots of friends, but Nigel is my best buddy.
C- Cake or pie? Oh my goodness, it HAS to be pie. For my birthday? Pie. For Thanksgiving? Pie. For Christmas? Pie. I used to love Key Lime, but my body has revolted against all citrus. Chocolate cream or coconut cream is always good. Not into the fruit pies.
D- Day of choice? Tuesday (that's the only day I get off of work).
E- Essential Item? My budget paper that I keep in my wallet (I keep track of every penny -- I don't spend my money wisely, but I know where every cent goes).
F- Favorite Color? Pink
G- Gummy Bears or Worms? I hate all things gummy (or goomy as Gnat likes to say).
H- Hometown? Clover City, CA
I- Favorite Indulgence? Cadbury Cream Eggs or Pepperidge Farms Mint Brussels cookies.
J- January or July? July (I look forward to the Freedom Festival and Pioneer Day every year).
K- Kids? 3: Frances, Jeffrey, and Alice-Grace
L - Life isn't complete without? Old MGM musicals.
M- Marriage date? Dang coldest and windiest day to be outside taking photos while surrounded by turkey farms.
N- Number of brothers and sisters? 5 brothers: Clark, Spence, J.D., Henry and Stillwell; 3 sisters: Lorna, Myrna and Rena
O- Oranges or Apples? Peaches (always peaches).
P- Phobia and fears? Falling in the shower and knocking out all my teeth (Denturaphobia).
Q- Quote? "Mr. Green is Left-Handed" (graffiti at my high school).
R- Reason to smile? Seeing people trip (yes, I know that's horrible, but I can't help myself).
S- Season of choice? Fall (also known as pie baking weather).
T- Tag three people? Can I tranquilize and tag some wild animals instead?
U- Unknown fact about me? I went to junior high with the actor/musician Jack Black.
V- Vegetable? Green beans (the squeaky ones).
W- Worst habit? Biting my nails.
X-Ray or Ultrasound? I don't want to drink a bunch of water, so I'm saying X-ray.
Y- Your favorite food? Ginger's elk enchiladas (I can eat them every day of my life).
Z- Zodiac sign? "Keep Off The Grass"

Hanging with Mr. Zager

I loved my junior high English teacher. Who doesn't love their junior high English teacher?

His name was Mr. Zager.

He introduced us to Truman Capote. He had a Christmas tree in his classroom because growing up Jewish, his mother wouldn't let him have one in their house. He had us sit in reverse alphabetical order because he always hated being last (I'm sure Ilene Ziff loved that about him).

Speaking of alphabetical order, did you notice something about my 29 Love posts for the 29 days of February?

• A: Avocados, Alice-Grace
• B: B-52s
• C: Cannery
  
• D: Dryer sheets
  
• E: Elevators
  
• F: Frances, Friends
  
• G: Gremlins
  
• H: Health
  
• I: Ice cream
• J: Jeffrey
• K: Kittens
  
• L: Loy, Myrna
  
• M: Myrna (my sister)
  
• N: Nigel
• O: Origami
  
• P: Pink
  
• Q: Qatar
• R: Rick (pet names)
  
• S: Snow, Spring
• T: Taxes
  
• U: "Umbrella" song
• V: Vashti
• W: Work
• X: Xerox copies
• Y: Yelling
• Z: Mr. Zager
  

Mermaid Myrna

I do love my sister, Myrna.

I mostly love her because she does her own thing. I come from a long line of volleyball players. Volleyball is our life. We all play.

But not Myrna. She swam.

Swim? We don't swim. We flounder, we gasp, we thrash around -- we don't swim.

Myrna didn't just swim, she was on the the swim team, she was a life guard, she taught swimming lessons for years and years and years, she's a swim teach coach.

Why does she swim? "Because everyone else played volleyball."

How can you not love that?

Asta la vista, baby

I love Myrna. Not my sister (though I do love my sister), but the actress, Myrna Loy. Here she is with William Powell in one of the "Thin Man" movies. If you're a fan of crossword puzzles, then you know the dog's name is Asta.

Besides her great roles in "The Thin Man," "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House" and "The Best Years of Our Lives," I mostly love her because while attending Venice High School, the art teacher did a sculpture of her. The statue was in front of the high school for many years ("Grease" was filmed at Venice High and supposedly you can see her statue in the opening of the movie -- I'll have to watch closer next time).

The best part is that every year the senior class would blow off Myrna's head and bury it somewhere. It was a big deal if you knew where it was buried. Eventually, the statue was surrounded by a big gate and now it's not there anymore.

Now that's love.

Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow

I love kittens, but I'm not too sure they love me.

When I was growing up, it seemed like we always had kittens around. If our cat wasn't having them, then people were leaving them on our doorstep. It got to the point where you were afraid to open your closet for fear of what you would find (our cat had kittens in my sister, Myrna's, shoes and once in my clothes hamper -- on top of my brand new school clothes).

I'm blaming it on the fact that it was the 1970s and there were no Animal Planet shows to instruct me on correct animal care, but I was horrible to those poor kittens. If I wasn't dressing them up in doll clothes, I was lacing them up in my roller skates and scooting them across the linoleum.

In full disclosure, the worst was when I used to eat a tuna fish sandwich and then put a kitten's head in my mouth and let it lick the tuna off my teeth. Ooh! I'm grossing out just thinking about it. What was wrong with me?

Just know that I have since worked a stint in a veterinary hospital, my cats are neutered/spayed and get all their shots and check-ups, and let's not even talk about tuna...

Paying It Forward -- Some More

My sister, Myrna, gave me a phone call on my birthday. This is a new tradition she started a few years ago after our Aunt Darlene's death.

See, Aunt Darlene and Myrna have the same birthday and Darlene would call Myrna on their birthday every year.

After Darlene passed away, Myrna started calling me on my birthday every year (they're in the same month).

Isn't it great the way one person's kindness inspires us to pass it on? Thank you, Aunt Darlene.