TOP 5 REASONS WHY I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO GROWING OLD
**Lorna got the empty thread spools -- I must admit it was my Jeffrey who gave our neighbor a bag of hair as a gift.
- Get to be the crazy old lady on the block wearing a housecoat with curlers in my hair holding a shotgun yelling, "Get the hell off my lawn!" to the neighborhood kids.
- Get to make nonsensical comments in church every week (something along the lines of "My name is Cleo, but everyone calls me Honey because I'm so sweet" or "In 1953, President David O. McKay gave me a special assignment to help save the devil's soul").*
- Get to wear crazy clothes and hats (because everything looks adorable when you're under 5 or over 85).
- Get to give people odd gifts like nails attached to empty thread spools or bags of hair.**
- Get to fulfill my dream of being one of those Super Bowl streakers (because who's going to tackle a naked old lady limping across the field with her walker?).
**Lorna got the empty thread spools -- I must admit it was my Jeffrey who gave our neighbor a bag of hair as a gift.
2 comments:
These are some more great arguments for not coloring your hair. White hair gets you to eccentric more quickly.
GEO -- I know. These old ladies are my idols. I never understood why anyone would want to be in a married student ward. How boring!!!
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