What I've Been Reading Instead of Cleaning My House

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Happy Hurl-idays!

A young girl barfed right by my cart where I sell candy in the mall last night. Not a little bit of spit-up, a huge puke puddle that extended about 3 feet. Nothing kills chocolate sales like the smell of vomit in the air.

Anyway, we called the mall management and told them we needed a clean-up between the candy cart and the curling iron fascists. The smarmy curling iron guy soothed the embarrassed feelings of the little girl and I gave her a plastic bag and a mint in case of future "episodes."

We put a bench over the puddle so people wouldn't walk through it. I was quite amused by the teenage boys picking up their girlfriends and trying to push them into the barf (nobody can say "I love you" like a teenage boy) and two middle-aged women who decided to SIT on the bench!

Finally, after 30 minutes (seriously, THIRTY minutes!), the mall clean-up crew came to the rescue. Happy Hurl-idays indeed!

10 comments:

rena said...

barfing is funny as long as i don't have to clean it up!
at least mr "smarmy" was nice to the little girl.

b. said...

YOU are a scream!!

Lois said...

RENA -- yeah, I love a good barf story (when I'm not the one barfing or the one cleaning it up).

Yes, Mr. "Smarmy" was very sweet.

B -- a happy scream or a terrified scream?

Elizabeth-W said...

I think you should request overtime pay or hazard pay or something for having to breathe potentially toxic fumes for 30 minutes.
Or at least a free bar of chocolate.

Rynell said...

I'm hoping our house will remain free from barf smells now that my kiddo got that out of his system.

Lois said...

ELIZABETH W -- yeah, hazard pay! Please, no more chocolate. Maybe this job was a mistake. I am SO sick of it now (the chocolate, not the job).

RYNELL -- good luck with the non-barf smelling house!

Geo said...

Hilarious. In a nauseating sorta way. And you were so kind to that kid.

I can just picture myself sitting on that bench.

Lois said...

GEO -- oh, I think you would PURPOSELY sit on the barf bench.

Am'n2Deep said...

The older I get, the more I cannot deal with anything that comes back 'out' of the body...good thing I'm long done with diapers, and my kids are mostly old enough to take care of their own barf. (And here's to hoping old age doesn't put me back in that stage :S) In other words, what I'm saying, is you would have had two puddles of barf to clean up had I been working at the chocolate cart!

Lois said...

AMN2DEEP -- I'm pretty good about that stuff, but you should see Nigel! He has a really sensitive gag reflex, so of course I make him do all the gross stuff. It's my evil streak coming out.