What I've Been Reading Instead of Cleaning My House

Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year's Memory #3

Go back a few years, it's New Year's day and Nigel and I invite Geo and her husband out to lunch at a local Indian restaurant.

Everything is going well and then Nigel chokes, coughs, and hurls all over the table. He drinks some water and hurls again! What the heck? Nigel and Geo's husband go into the bathroom and they soon return. Everything's OK. Nigel takes another drink of water and spews water all over!

Please note that all through this little episode, Geo is horrified, her husband is helpful, Nigel is confused and I'm going back to the buffet for seconds (it's an ALL YOU CAN EAT buffet! I have to get my money's worth!).

The poor waiter has no idea what's happening. We're trying to hide the barf with napkins, less he think the delicious food is making Nigel sick.

We go home and Nigel feels OK, but he still can't keep anything down. Even his own saliva gets spit up immediately after he swallows.

Finally, he can't stand it any more and we decide to go to the emergency room. We don't have a car, so we call my nephew, Fred, to drive us to the hospital (yet again, Fred saves the day). Fred has just gotten back from the slopes, so he takes us over in full ski gear.

Of course, in the emergency room, everyone thinks that it's FRED that needs help (since he's in the ski clothes), and not the crazy man spitting into a cup.

They finally look at Nigel and realize that a piece of chicken is caught in his throat. It isn't blocking the entrance to his lungs, so he can breathe just fine, but it is blocking the entrance to his stomach, so he can't swallow anything. The doctor has to sedate him, stick a claw down his throat and pull it out.

The doctor is NOT pleased about being called in on New Year's Day (if you don't want to work holidays, you should be a teacher, NOT a doctor) and keeps commenting about how the piece of chicken didn't have a single bite mark in it. Nigel swallowed it whole.

Nigel, on the other hand, is coming out of the anesthesia and drunkenly telling everyone he sees, "It was the best Indian food I've ever eaten! It was so good. It was the best I've ever eaten!"

Hey Geo, want to go out to lunch again? (ha, ha, ha)

13 comments:

b. said...

I want to. I'll even go to an Indian Food place if the company's good!

Monica B. said...

Wow I have never heard of such a thing. You have the best stories.

Lois said...

B -- oh, you're brave.

MONICA B -- I was telling this story to my niece and her husband's family has this happen all the time. I guess some people just have genetically small throats. Who knew?

SC_mommie said...

I thought y'all told me it was Nigel's birthday? Hmmmmm... Well, as I tell Justin- chew first, THEN swallow! (smirk) :oP

Lois said...

SC MOMMIE -- no, it was New Year's Day. Sorry for the confusion. Yeah, like the old "Far Side" cartoon used to say, "First Pants, THEN shoes!" Maybe he can take some lessons from Justin.

dalene said...

Oh my. You do have the best stories.

Elizabeth-W said...

You must be FAB, Lois, if B will go and not eat Indian, just to hang with you. :D B was going to come spend the weekend with me but when she found I was going to be cooking curry, she didn't come.

Lois said...

CW -- like I keep saying, I'm not funny, I just have funny things happen to me (constantly).

ELIZABETH W -- wow, that is awesome! Now I feel very blessed. How can you not like Indian food?

Nigel said...

And our 20% deductible that the health insurance didn't cover was $1200. I wish I could say Lois left out some redeeming detail that would make this all less embarrassing--but I got nothing.

Lois said...

NIGEL -- oh, I forgot about all that money. Must've blocked it out.

Hey, it's a GREAT story!!!

Am'n2Deep said...

I love how Nigel fills in the missing details. So, what I want to know is did Nigel learn to chew his food after his $12,000 lesson? Talk about a harsh consequence to pay--literally!

Am'n2Deep said...

Uuuh, did I add an unecessary 0? I meant $1200!

Lois said...

AMN2DEEP -- yes, he's very good about filling in the details. Yeah, it would not be such a funny story if it was $12,000!!!!